Skate to Mistake

The other day I went longboarding with my hometown group I didn't even know existed. It's been probably 1½ years since I skated with people. And it felt so good.

When you're with more experienced skaters, they will have their eyes on you and guide you through your journey. They'll even make you do things that you wouldn't dare to- let it be the fear of physical pain or embarrassment of failing in front of everyone. When my moment came to do something I hadn't done before, I was thinking "are you trying to kill me?", though ironically the stunt was to ensure my own safety better.

But like so many times before, the more you postpone something the more stressful and intimidating it becomes. All those videos and live situations I've seen of people taking a  fall... Fuck it, it's now or never.

While laying on the ground all I could think of was that it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. I lifted my head to see the others- they smiled and had their thumbs up. Let's do it again!

It was the first time I had fallen, which just means that before this no one, including myself, had really pushed me out of my comfort zone. Staying in your comfort zone is something that most of us settle for, but no wonder. I mean it's much easier and safer to do things you're already good at and spare yourself from any public humiliation.

Yes. Once others see you make a mistake, they'll realize that you're only a human being. So awful!

All those times you didn't raise your hand in the class room, because you weren't certain of your answer. All those times you take the same role in every project you do. All those times when you think way too much of what others would think.

Which one is worse; people thinking you're helpless, because you made a mistake or you being disappointed in yourself, because once again you didn't push yourself to become more knowledgeable, skillful, all in all better...?

One fall I took hurt really bad. I could have easily dislocated my shoulder at it, but thankfully nothing worse came out of it than an arm that I can't move properly and bad bruises. Despite my grins, I'm all happyhappyjoyjoy inside. I took a giant step forward in something that I'm starting to really love.

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.

-Socrates

i guess i won't be using these for my job interviews anymore